Grateful.

The past few days haven't been the easiest in terms of
deciding what I'll be doing or where I'll be for the next year 

and I wished Jie wouldn't keep going on about how lucky I am 

that Mom & Dad let me do everything I want 

and are ever so willing to support me in every way possible 

or that I'm just about the luckiest kid ever lived. 

It's not like I didn't already know how lucky I was, or so, I thought. 

I admit that tho that's something I've always known, 

sometimes forgotten & taken for granted, 

I guess I never understood the extent of it. 

Just as I was getting ready for school, 

I was thinking about how much more carefree & simpler life is here 

but yet a small part of me wanted to go back to 

chasing all the materialistic things and temporary highs 

like I did in Singapore. 

& As usual the very lazy me flopped right back into bed after lunch 

thinking 'bout how I much didn't wna go to school 

'cause I didn't wna take the public transport 

but just wanted be driven or be cabbing to school. 

(But thank god for friends 'cause even tho they're 5414km away, 

they still push you to go to school)

So the usuals, checked the bus time, slowly got ready & left.

1 hour and 15 mins late. What's new?

For some reason, I didn't feel like plugging in the minute I left,

which is really weird 'cause for anyone who knows me,

my earpieces are one of the biggest reasons for my existence. 

Like literally, if you wna torture me,

just take away my earpiece. 

BUT PLEASE DON'T EVER DO THAT.

So got on my bus and as my snobby conscious side was

judging people 'cause I thought they would be judging me,

I happened to overhear to a conversation that hit me.

It hit me quite hard.

Not having any money for the bus ride to school vs:

-being too lazy to go to school 'cause the bus ride's "too long"

Finally made me realize how much my parents have actually spoilt me.

Whenever I'm lazy, they drive me or I cab.

& why am I lazy? 'Cause I dread the journey & the crowd.

Or if I'm just beyond lazy, I skip school and they don't say anything.

-spending money like water on things I'll never use

How kids don't even have money for a bus fare, 

is something I don't think I'll ever understand.

What I do know is that I'll never want to experience that

& it's something I wouldn't wish upon even my biggest enemy.

The little discoveries we make along the way,

I may not understand fully yet and 

I may never but I guess this is what life's about, 

a journey, a life long lesson,

teaching us to learn to appreciate everything in life whether big or small. 

Just for the record, I had amazing Wednesday.

I hope everyone did too. 

G'night for now.

xoxo,

Simaling

Miss you.

Wish you were here all day every day.

Call me overly attached or a person with separation anxiety,

I'd gladly accept 'cause nothing will ever come close to a love like this.

I hope everyone's lucky enough to experience such love.

& when you do, trust me, you'll understand.  

xoxo,

Simaling.

Open Letters That Matter

"How long is forever?" she asked.
"Sometimes just a second." he said.

"Life is like a camera.
Just focus on what's important,
Capture the good times,
develop from the negatives,
& if things don't work out,
just take another shot."

As disappointing and as tough as it may be,
At least we're lucky ones who were given the chance to take another shot :)

xoxo, 

Simaling

"I'm in repair, I'm not together but I'm getting there."

Recently in June, I realized something.

Something I should've and would've liked to have realized a lot sooner.

But I know everything has it's time and place, 

so I'm just grateful it's happened :)

For the longest part, since Aug 2010, 

I've been living life in a blur, 

sweeping the dust under the rug 

& living for all the temporary highs

living life day to day. 

For most part of it, I must admit, I was successful. 

For the least, it snowballed to whatever I am today.

I won't say I'm unhappy,

but I can't tell you I'm happy either.

I mean I have no reason to be unhappy 'cause

I've got the love of my life,

I'm living my dream,

I have a wonderful family who supports me,

& the bestest of friends anyone could ever ask for.

I know I'm blessed, I know I'm lucky.

I pretty much get everything I want,

but yet, I feel bereft, 

most of the time I'm displeased,

& pretty much all of the time, morose.

I've decided that I don't want to live life the way I have for the past almost 5 years,

but to live a life, hopefully a fulfilling one, where I learn to enjoy the journey.

So this from here on, shall be my journey, to remind myself why I even started.

& as of today the 5th of July,

I'll make a promise to myself.

The promise to sort life out,

to learn to deal with the unanswered questions,

to accept the differences, to accept the fact that not everyone thinks like me,

to embrace whatever life throws at me w open arms and an open heart

& to never stop this train no matter how tough life gets.. 

xoxo,

Simaling