It's been exactly a month since I made a promise to myself.
To embark on this emotionally tough & draining journey.
& I must say, I have no regrets.
This month has been nothing but productive & it's helped me a lot in terms of learning and realizing the many things I've never realized about myself & the things around me.
And 4 days ago, I found what I was looking for and the main reason why I decided to go thru this :)
But the journey won't stop just there 'cause it's made me realize so much more and I just wna keep learning and experiencing all that this and life has to offer.
I admit, being back home here where I find the most comfort, has definitely helped a heck load.
Just for the record, living alone is probably the most therapeutic thing ever.
Most people would see if as being lonely after awhile, but all living alone has done to me is help me realize how much I love being on my own.
May not exactly be a good thing 'cause no man's an island but I am definitely enjoying every moment of it.
Not to mention, it really helps me keep my emotions in check ;)
Which is ultimately what I really need.
(Trust me tho, as much as I love living here alone, I miss my family, so much more than I'd ever expect myself to. Sometimes I think I miss them just as much as I miss my babyboy, which if anyone needs to know, is my world.)
Y'know how they say how time will heal and how time will reveal?
That my friend, is nothing but the truth.
Things you never thought you could let go of, once you find within yourself to not be afraid to lose it, you will slowly learn to let go.
I will not lie and say it doesn't hurt or that sometimes it doesn't feel like someone dug their hands into your ribs and ripped a piece of your heart out, but what I will say is that the ability to feel pain is what makes you humane and not just another human being.
Same as the debate between empathy & sympathy.
But trust me, that sense of freedom and that weight off your shoulders as a reward, that only comes with time & it might just be one of the most pleasant ways to reward yourself.
You might surprise yourself like the way I surprised myself.
I should stop rambling and actually head to sleep now.
Can't wait for class tomorrow!
G'night & hope everyone had an amazing Wednesday <3
xoxo,
Simaling.
No comments:
Post a Comment